What I Deserve

Over Christmas, it is easy to develop the "I deserve" mentality. With clever sales pitches bombarding the scenes at every turn, it is easy to believe that I TRULY deserve everything I see and desire. Santa Clause teaches that all good boys and girls receive what they want. This idea, however, is quite erroneous.

A lot of times,I think life is not fair. Often, I don't think I get what I deserve. Of course, I am not perfect, but I usually think that I at least deserve good hair days , great grades without really studying, and a wardrobe that refreshes itself with new clothes every three months.

Recently, however, I came to realize that I am GLAD that I do not always get what I deserve.

It was 1 AM on a Sunday morning. I had just graduated from college a few hours earlier. I was high on a mix of emotions, ranging from elation at completing my degree to a dread of leaving my friends with whom I have laughed, cried, and experienced near mental breakdowns.

Not ready to say 'bye', a group of friends had deiced to go bowling earlier in the evening. We were now on our way back to the campus. Laughing and joking, I was enjoying my last few hours with my friends, not suspecting that anything could go wrong on such a good night. As I stopped at at red light, I noticed a police car in my rear view mirror. Continuing my conversation, I thought little about the car. Suddenly, one of the passengers told me that the cop was trying to pull me over. I laughed and assumed that he was kidding. However, I was wrong. I felt a sinking feeling as I saw flashing lights and heard the dreaded siren blaring.

"What on earth have I done?" I wondered as I pulled onto the shoulder of the road. Desperately, I looked around my car. I might have been going five miles over the speed limit, but I really did not think I had been speeding. Then, my brother pointed out that Indiana had a seat belt law. Then, I KNEW I was in trouble. My vehicle, which only had appropriate seating for four, contained seven passengers. As I sat on the side of the road, fumbling for my license and proof of insurance, the van was full of apologizing passengers. I knew I was doomed.

My mind whirled. There was no way out of this one. If I had been speeding, I could have pretended that I did not know the speed limit or try to talk or cry my way out of a ticket. However, there was no way I could explain three people out of my car. I assumed that the officer would not believe that the three extras "magically" appeared in the back of my car without my knowing it.

As the officer exited his car, he carefully shined a flashlight through all the windows of my vehicle. I wondered exactly how dangerous I really seemed.
At long last, the officer walked over to a window and asked what we were doing. With a trembling voice, I explained that we had been bowling and were on our way back to our school. I was prepared for a half-parental speech about safety and followed by a large fine. Instead, the officer informed me that someone had committed a robbery in a vehicle matching the description of mine, and they were searching for the suspects.

With that explanation, the officer walked back to his car and pulled away.
Limp with relief, I suddenly became aware that, for once, I was very, VERY glad that I had not gotten what I deserved.

The incident caused me to realize that I often do NOT get what I deserve not as a punishment, but as a result of grace. I am thankful that I do not always get what I deserve. Often, what I deserve is not the good hair day, but the day where I oversleep and have five minutes to get ready. Sometimes, life is not fair, but I'm really better off that way. =D

Ps. Thanks to Matt, Kate, Dan, Esther, Jedd, and Ryan for riding with me and still speaking to me, even though I nearly got you guys arrested. :)